Engtovo's Poetry

To My Friends

Tatiacha — Sun, 13 Mar 2011 05:57:48 +0000

Friends of honor
Friends of integrity
To this day we rise
I come to you in honesty
Offer you my respect
With my heart I offer gratitude
And honor the souls that you are
Sometimes our road is twisted
Mistakes we will make
We honor them all with apology
We ask and then expect more of ourselves
We deliver more
It is in our support and love
We find our way
I thank you for the truths you’ve told
Those I saw and those I resisted
Those that made me cry
For they were offered with love
From honesty
You came to me with heart open
I hold these hearts with tenderness
I know the grace of who you are
It is more than this day
This month or year
The infinite nature of our connection is within
We are those who know and see these things
We journey alone but cross paths
Some crossings are short
Some long
All are significant and enduring
You remind me of who I am
Who I was created to be in wholeness
I do the same for you
This path has been so very hard
Each day you all remind me of its beauty
And the blessings we share
Often lost in the fog of our lessons
It presents itself back to us
We listen and we pray together and for one another
We sit quiet and exchange energies
Near or far there is no distance between us
In moments we may take one another for granted
This is not one of those moments
I am in awe of all that you have accomplished
While a clueless world looks on
They see nothing
Feel nothing
As they sit unknowing in the circle of our love
In the greatest of these challenges
Somehow we have found one another
From across this earth we love
Is the most wondrous gift
May we fill our hearts with magic
Then bless it upon each other
We have earned these blessings
Through honoring each other
And it is with a vulnerable heart
That I choose to give blessings of love
To each and all of you
And hold you in sacred space
Honored to call you friends

Tatiacha ~ March 12, 2011

Elk

Tatiacha — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 05:57:40 +0000

Whispers seek outpouring of strength
An omen to portend of this time
They cross in front of me
And begin to run
I watch and feel the urgency
Speed and agility in union
Bending to cross the creek
They serpentine to the right and pick up speed
The other moves steadily unaware
They head right for impact
Hit she lay on the ground in shock
Gathering around with good intention
A small group convenes
Is she dead
They ponder her fate
Prayers move off them to her
Slowly she comes around
Moving behind obstacles
Hidden from view
She moves opposite the herd
Away from the scene and the danger
She emerges
She crosses over in front of me again
As she moves through the dirt and mud
That is this road
She trips and stumbles
Then returns to her feet
Her grace strength and stamina obvious
She picks up speed
Still somewhat apprehensive
Now understanding this close call
She moves out to the forest alone
The depth of her injuries unknown
She has survived another day
My heart pours out with love to this sign
This inspiration of divine timing
We all survive each day
Until it is the day we do not
I will take my hits
With some I may trip and stumble
But I will return to my path
And continue with the grace of an Elk

Tatiacha ~ March 3, 2011

It Is Here That I Am

Tatiacha — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 05:52:00 +0000

It is here that I am
Sitting alone in thought
Transitions due
They move in and change me
I see them in force
Look back but weeks
There is another there
She is not I
Painful is the transmutation
Necessary though it may be
This truth must awaken
Embrace this key factor
It is a gift that comes with hard labor
It brings new life
To both the woman
And the innocence returned
The gifts come like rocks
Not like feathers
They cannot sway and swoon in these winds
Gravity drops them hard
They shake me
Cause a human quake
The rocks blast me with intensity
I question my survival momentarily
Then I get up to assess
I am bruised from the battering
These wounds are temporary and self healing
What looks like destruction
Unfolds faults in foundation
The rebuilding is cathartic
Something much greater comes forth
It could never have been seen
Never understood if brought gently
Brought to my senses
It is here that I am

Tatiacha ~ March 3, 2011

New Pathway

Tatiacha — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 05:48:00 +0000

Creeping into view a new pathway is emerging
Eagles soar above
They follow the serpentine flow of the river below
Ice lingers along the banks crackling in the winter sun
I call out for greater sight like the eagles above me
Allow me to see where this pathway leads
For this moment I am grounded
No sight is granted
I must simply tread this winding pathway with my heart
Trust every turn
Acknowledge every stone
Every tree along the way
Root out my foundations and strengths to carry me forward
A new beach is uncovered every time the tide goes out
These emotions have been beating our shores battering us
But the tide has now turned
No one knows what we will find here
Everything has been changed
Some things seem fresh and new
Others damaged from the tidal surges
How they mesh from here we must wait to see
Give over the spirits say
Allow yourself to be receptive to any outcome
One thing leads to something greater
This is the time for dominoes to tumble in a preordained order
I know not this order
All that is seen is the tipping of the first
There is no longer free will choice in this sequence
There is a loss of perceived power
Leading the mind to ponder things unthinkable
Why would such things ever be preordained
Even the mind knows they would not
Still in the absence of the normal it wanders forth in deception
I begin to trust this unfolding
As I become accustomed to its essence
I know I must move farther to embrace it fully
A destiny thus waiting is calling
Elements moving in or out of my pathway
Chosen of my Creator must be accepted with grace
For every sorrow I may befall on this trail
There are joys I am being led to
I will feel each feeling
Give it its truth and acknowledgement
Then continue forward on this new pathway

Tatiacha ~ February 11, 2011

Tears of Unseen Emotion

Tatiacha — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 05:42:00 +0000

What will be is not within my domain
There are two that set the course of this movement
Reaching out and responding
Healing and seeking meaning
The hurts have not become us
The sense if impending doom is not certain
Vulnerability speaks out tangibility
Things are on the table
It is required
It pulsates out in waves of prayer
Things in silence bring death
My heart cries out languishing of direction
There are no dots to connect
Only space where confusion reigns
Will there be rebirth here in this act of truth
Sadness may instead be labored
The unknown beats down upon me with its weight
Fears submerge me intermittently
That darkness wants to sink me to the bottom
There is understanding beyond
A course must be taken
The winds blow though switching directions
They cannot be ascertained
My heart is at their mercy
I must submit
Something I do with great trepidation
I bow to the power that knows the mystery
Ask of myself trust in this process
Questioning all that I think I know inevitable
The answers are bound to implode
Perceived as good or bad
Beginning or ending embraced with intensity
Followed by tears of unseen emotion

Tatiacha ~ February 11, 2011

Wise Innocence

Tatiacha — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 06:03:00 +0000

Softly shifting understanding of the deeper
Insight brought by time
Known but not seen in its truth
Richer and appreciated in new light
So much missed in the obliviousness of an unhealed heart
What was unacknowledged surfaces
It shines in bright clarity
Gentle soul tucked away in heavy garments
Sought only to express a greater truth
He called forth instead that which would oppress
Push down and abuse his loyal heart
Seeking to be received with love
He finds lies & corruption masquerading as love
This revelation shakes his foundation
He questions all that he is
All that he thought to be from his youthful delusions
Vows came from an unhealed place in them both
The pain is excruciating
Who was this person he thought he knew
What was this life he thought they had built
So drawn in to the lie
He did not recognize his own unhappiness
The reflection unnoticed
The spark of his gentle being withdrawn
Gone into hiding unable to reconcile this life
He grieves the abuser
The withholder of love, compassion and respect
So long it merged he does not recognize
He is unnourished and without nurturing
Slowly the cloudiness moves away
He begins to see the delusion
For a time that increases the pain
The passing of time
The loss of his dream of what it should have been
So glaring it blinds him
She was not capable of feeding his gentle soul
He did not see himself slowly slip away
His creative force held down by another’s selfishness
He held her in a light that was not hers
Allowed her lies to be unacknowledged
Sacrificed reciprocation of the sacred
Accepted this life as if it were his destiny
The awakening comes slowly upon her betrayals
He moves his energy to receive the truth of it all
It is staggering in its immensity
Friends offer insight of truths long known to them
He listens and contemplates the enormity of it all
Although he sees now what once was hidden
He cannot see that the loving innocence he desired
Is not part of the delusion
Is not naïve or unattainable for him
It sits so far down in his heart now
He has forgotten the essence of its workings
He is afraid to believe he could receive equal to his giving
The universe conspires to show him solidity
There is truth in the innocent dream
The unhealed heart’s failure in choice of partner
Is not failure of the dream
He shakes off the dust of his life
Rekindling the knowing of his soul
Preparing his heart to step out on a limb long forgotten
His fear and insecurities make him hesitate
But they do not control his heart
It is still willing
Still longing for the innocence of true love
His heart moves and stirs and reaches out
She finds him with no intention
She is from and innocent time and place
Her heart now open she sees his scars with compassion
It hurts her to see what he lived without
To see the sparkle she knew in his eyes withdrawn
The sweetness of their youth envelops them both
Ignites new understanding of sacrifices made in the painful journey of life
They are kindred souls
Seeing a deeper part of one another after long absence
There is kindness in this building bond
Layers of confusion and fear and resistance move in and through them
Hearts move forward with no permissions asked
There is no choice but to flow where it takes them
They acknowledge this with trepidation
And continue this new journey of wise innocence

Tatiacha ~ 1-11-11

Unified Force

Tatiacha — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 06:00:59 +0000

Nudging gently into the space with no time

This energy speaks with its own voice

Its language is clear not obscured

It was offered freely in an act of healing and love

Received without limitation it blends

The merging is infinite and gentle

Life force coming from a source of beauty

It asks only to be received fully

There is no resistance only gratitude

I breathe it in with each breath

Infinitely one it finds perfect harmony

It envelops discord and transmutes it to perfection

It knows me with intuitive intelligence

Directly it focuses to the highest good

Uplifting the flesh, the thought, and emotions

My soul radiates to its vibration

Tunes in to hear it whisper words of divine love

There are no bounds to this gift

No timeline or frequency can contain it

Moving through every possible expression

There is unlimited expansion at its command

All aspects are here and now

This energy has dominion to make it so

Every tentacle drawn to core for integration

The peace becomes us as one

Once two polarities seeking balance

Are now one unified force

Tatiacha ~ January 9, 2011

Flip of Polarities

Tatiacha — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 05:38:00 +0000

Can there be a time for which
Bottom is top and top is bottom
A flip of polarities found with ease
Transition of energies sure to please
I sought out this flip from near and far
It makes sense to the heart maybe not the head
Restores grounding to some if not all
Those who resist will surely fall
Like looking though a window
The view is clear but with boundary
There is protection within this place
Of those outside there will be no trace
Trembling the earth as energies flip
Physical and emotional tied together
We change ourselves we change our world
Oceans of water inland are hurled
Look to the tragedy should you desire
What looks bad may very well be good
Open hearts are freely dancing with the flow
Dark forces now have no choice but to go

Tatiacha ~ January 8, 2011

The Sword of Power Thus Passed

Tatiacha — Sat, 08 Jan 2011 23:49:37 +0000

Red the earth stone
Solid under my feet
Rimmed in spotty green hues
Saturated by the falling rain
Fallen in the night’s passing
My earth glows below me
Filled with life force
Reaching up through my feet
It fills me with radiant warmth
Each step on this trail solid
Moving with purpose
The movement of female force
Strong in its vulnerability
Love is the sword of this freedom
Full expression brought forth
It can find no resistance
For there is no stronger force
Dare one to stand upon this sacred rock
And proclaim otherwise
All who have walked this trail before us
All who come after join in time and space
We raise this sword of love to full strength
And know these truths
Our earth
Our providing mother
Guides our steps
Through her sacred places
I place my foot bare upon her foundation
One by one the others do the same
We speak out with one voice
Sacred place to sacred place
We take our right of flowing power
Moving between us, the earth
And the divinity of all that is
We claim our rights as faithkeepers
As divine grandmothers
Regardless of bodily age
Servants to the whole
The divine flows though us
From spirit to earth
From earth back to spirit
Divine feminine principle
Takes its rightful place
There is no other pathway
It is preordained now
Expressed in blessings for all life
The sword of power thus passed
Universe has ordained
The earth hath bowed allegiance
We take our planet
The power now fully ours
All not in harmony must move aside
Where the power of love is wielded
There is no battle to be fought
We stand unfaltering
Permission granted on all levels
Feet firmly set in stone
Every location now under our command
The future generations of all species
Ours to make whole
There will be no foundation granted
To any energies moving counter
To the divine force of all that is
So be it
The grandmothers have spoken

Tatiacha Engtovo Bhodsvatan ~ January 8, 2011

Void of All Worlds

Tatiacha — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 07:18:44 +0000

Spinning effortlessly into a sea of stars

My mind and spirit fly free of body

I am infinite like all that surrounds me

My perceived self scatters in all direction

I merge into the specs of light

The space between me filled with undeniable peace

All things are born here in the space between

Empty black void of unconscious truth

Still and motionless it appears from any given place

But the currents move out in pure intention

They instantaneously move without perception or understanding

They touch the sparks of light that rim the edge of the void

Exploding its display of color in a multitude of fractal patterns

The patterns build and grow until they circle back

The mind and spirit of the originator receives the acknowledgment

It is intended using the law of no harm

The space between accepts the intention of no other law

The void is alive with and without space and time

From the stars in the galaxy to the place within my cells

There is no past present or future

No tangible or intangible differentiation

Any limitation previous perceived abandoned

I am reborn in this void of all worlds

Tatiacha Engtovo Bhodsvatan ~ 12-16-10